Apocalypse Now? (And if Not Now, When?)
It’s Spring and it’s been raining a lot in California. This observation alone has led me to ponder the burning (literally) question:
Is this the apocalypse?
So hear me out on this one. Normally, I’m not the sort to look at a little bit of hugely excessive rainfall in what is allegedly more of a desert-chapparal sort of ecosystem, and think that some sort of disaster is nigh. A few raindrops do not a cataclysm make.
And yet, I’ve been having recurrent dreams lately. Maybe it has something to do with our “president’s” saber-rattling in the direction of Iran. In my nightmares things go “nucular” in quite a horrible manner, and just as soon as the scary bomb in my dream is about to explode, I wake up terrified.
Further, it ought to be noted that nearly all of the world’s major religions are in agreement on the notion of the world ending in some sort of horrible, icky sort of cosmic-planetary-disaster-type thing. Ragnarok, Doomsday, the end of Kali Yuga, you name it, it’s all just a matter of when.
So, in honor of possibly impending, multidenominationally supported doom, and in the public interest I will begin noting here, as part of an ongoing series...
Signs of the Apocalypse
- Gasoline rises above $3.00 a gallon –Unholy! Is this the Angry Almighty’s way of limiting travel so that it’s easy to pick out who’s naughty or nice? And is there any sort of service that can help one relocate to where all the saved people will be? Kirk Cameron? Anyone?
- Mamie van Doren at 75 years old looks like this. Really. – (And I’d be lucky to look that good, like, ever…). Fun family game to break up interparental arguing: I conducted a blinded experiment in which my parents tried to guess her age from the local newspaper clipping. The oldest age they came up with was “nearly forty?”
Gotta go and get my apocalypse survival kit ready. Item number one: comfy shoes. ‘Cause fire and brimstone are absolute hell on the feet! (rim shot).